Quebec – Following the mosque attack that left six, um, Canadians dead and eight others injured, Muslims across the world are concerned about a growing backlash against White people. Holding candles and singing Celine Dion songs, large numbers of Muslims gathered outside of a Starbucks to show support for the White community.
Muhammad al Misned, head of the Islamic Tolerance Foundation, stated in very broken French, “We are not so much very morose about the misplacing of life as we are mainly concerned with very much growing of Anti-White hatred and the forced displacement of people who just happened to be here before we come and build this country.”
It is not clear what drove the shooter, Alexandre Bissonnette, to commit this unfortunate accident which authorities are wary of calling terrorism lest they be accused of profiling or jumping to conclusions. They are, however, very certain that the 30,000 Syrians imported into the country over one three-month period had absolutely nothing to do with it.
A government official close to the case, but speaking on a condition of anonymity, said that investigators fear the young man was radicalized by cartoon frogs on the Internet. He was quick to point out that the frog was a meme of peace and should not reflect on all drawings of amphibians. “Not all Pepes are like that,” he firmly stated.
Still, many Muslims are concerned that Whites will be vilified by this attack and called slurs such as “colonialist” or “honky.” After singing an unrecognizable rendition of “My Heart Will Go On,” one unidentified woman in a garment resembling a garbage bag mumbled, “Help me,” before being dragged protectively away by her male chaperone.